BUILD SELF CONFIDANCE #1

 We humans are crafted in a delicatemanner but also are infused with amidst vigor but still there are moments whenwe find our heads underwater. Many people crumble under pressure somemay even break down and fall into the trap of self-pity and loathe holding onto a narrative that the odds are stacked against them. But there are exceptionalindividuals who can see the beauty in their darkest moments. They can recalltheir struggles and pain as something that made them stronger and invincible. Throughout history we have witnessedcertain individuals who are strong-willed tenacious and resilientpossessing unshakable grit and confidence. 

These people are not bornthis way they have fallen a lot of times and gotten back on their feet whichcultivated an ability to deal with things in a better way. They choose toremain unaffected and indifferent to the negative opinions and criticisms thatare thrown at them by people rejections and failures. They have the uncanny lifeskill to deal with the inevitable circumstances of adversity extremechallenges and uncertainties of life. They lead of life on their terms. Theyhave a mastery over their external circumstances because they have a stronginternal mindset to master their environments. Let's call them theinvincible. 

This documentary is about dealing with fear, cultivating confidencein yourself, and helping you master your environment so that you too can developa quality of persistence of continuing resolutely despite setbacks andadversities in life. Being invincible and confident is not the absence of fear.Invincibility is about transforming a relationship with fear. Fear is not theenemy. The feeling of fear is just like any other emotion. Fear is actuallyinforming you; fear is telling you that you need to do something either do moreresearch get some support, get some insight, study a little more, slow down-fear is actually feeding you. So then ask yourself the question what do I need todo, think, or go get to dissipate this fear. And then secondly recognize thatfear doesn't mean STOP!. People think Oh!! I'm afraid, let me stop. Okay that's achoice to stop.

 Fear doesn't necessarily mean stop. Fear might mean proceed withcaution, or proceed with more strategy. Fear doesn't, whenever I'm feeling fearit doesn't tell me. So I don't you think now to stop with a fear. I do think toslow down, go get some help, go get some insight.Voice my fear so that it's not  just all in my head.Recognize that fear is going to come in; when you're playing bigger than you'veever played before. I say if your knees aren't knocking and your teeth aren'tchattering, just a little at least then you're not playing big enough. The biggeryou play, the more you're gonna feel your knees knock and you hear your teeth chatter. 

 And I am always playing big I'm always feeling my knees knock. AndI'm always hearing my teeth chatter. But I've created a relationship with thatfear. Every culture demonizes fear as a major sign of weakness especially in men.They depict great men of courage as people who are fearless this gives us adelusional idea that confident people don't experience fear. As kids we getconditioned into thinking that feeling frightened is silly and stupid. Maybe atsome part of your early life you've been called a crybaby or heard taunts likeboys don't cry, or don't be a sissy. These taunts are powerfully reinforcedby our pop culture. Also we see heroes and superheroes who are fearless in theface of the villains. We see  these heroes laid back with a straight andconfident face even when the villains point a gun at them.Ccourage is glorifiedin movies and puts it on such a pedestal which makes one feel that feelinganything less than that is being less of a real-life hero.

 So fear is despised assomething we should never feel in our lives, while its omnipresent residing inevery living man and in every step he takes. Fear is a powerful tool. It's apowerful fuel that makes us human. We don't succeed despite fear; we succeed inthe face of it, and by conquering it, rather than by avoiding or ignoring it.Invincibility is a strength of character. We develop this through our self ideals.Your self ideal is a combination of the qualities and attributes that you admiremost in other people living and dead. It is the sum of all your dominantaspirations. It is your vision of what the perfect person should be. It is yourvision of your future self. 

Your self ideal is what you dream about yourself.It's the dream self, who you want to mould and develop into. But self image is whatyou think about yourself. It's the sum of your current self.Between your current self and your future self, there is a gap that you tendto fill through your growth journey. To put that in perspective- 'we are not justhuman beings, but human becomings'. We all tend to pursue our ideal self. There aretwo people within us: one of them is who we are which is your self image, and theother one is who we want to become- which is your self ideal. 

To understand selfconcepts further, you need to also understand both the 'self esteem' and 'selfconfidence'. Self esteem is how you feel about yourself. Self confidence is whatyou do. Invincible people envision an ideal life. They also possess a positiveself-image. Their self esteem and confidence help them move forward andconquer any challenges. Therefore you become an invincible person; when youbegin to think, feel, and act like one. To become invincible you need to be aperson with a mission. The purpose in life gives you the directions, and yourinner compass guides you. But first to understand invincibility you need toaccept that the real hero in your life is YOU.  It is not the ones you see inthat idiot box of yours or in the theatres who are fabricated toperfection.

 You are the hero. And your life is yourstory. You script it with your aspirations and dreams. And once you'repassionate enough you take action irrespective of what may come your way.You persist because you need to complete your journey. You have the power andnothing has more power over you. To become invincible you need to becomethe person with a mission. You need to feel A SENSE OF DESTINY  that is callingout for you. When purpose is awakened in your soul, life becomes meaningful andfulfilling. The long term optimism of invincible people is unshakable nomatter how many speed breakers they hit. They have a deep enough faith a sense ofdestiny and that is very much the foundation of being invincible. Here theyknow for the fact that no matter what happens, no matter what the obstacles are,they gonna achieve the outcome eventually. Being invincible can help youovercome any kind of adversities, self-doubt lack of motivation, cynicism,pessimism, criticism or contempt. People who lack this they feel that, there'snothing in their control. 

They feel like the victims of circumstances and theyalso have a very negative and pessimistic outlook towards their lives.Another nickel you want in your pocket to become invincible is having a greatself image. Self image is the way you think and perceive yourself. Do you knowthat you have an image of yourself inside?. When you stand in front of amirror, you see a reflection of the physical you. Now that's not the real you.You have a picture of yourself in your mind. Do you know when a person improvestheir self-image, they change their entire life. Their income change. Theirrelationships change. Their health changes. And you know how you do that?Start studying you!!. Start to find out more about you. There's somethingphenomenal about you. 

Do you know when I began to study this material 57 yearsago. I had very poor self-image. I had low self-esteem.I took dumb jobs. I never earned any money. I never had fun. I had poorrelationships. And as I started to study- start to study real solid information;everything in my life started to improve. I've got friends all over the worldtoday. I earned millions of dollars. I'm in my 80s and I get as much energy as aperson in their 30s. You see when you start to understand really who you are!.You're God's highest form of creation. There's things about you that just aboutblow your mind as you start to study and really understand them. You'll walk alittle taller you'll stand a little straighter, and youknow something - you'll enjoy a whole lot more of life. You can have a healthyself-image or an unhealthy self-image. But what is more important for personaldevelopment is a realistic representation of you with all yourstrengths and weaknesses. Self Image acts like an inner reflection or a mirror, orwhat you choose to see in yourself.It is developed by the conversation that youhave with yourself when nobody's around - just you and your being.

 What do youthink about your self matters, and it is influenced by everything that envelopsyou. You know; it is said that people are made up of the people they meet and thebooks they read. So, in your inner conversations - in your inner dialogue,you could be talking to yourself like a coach - like every time trying to give youthe words of encouragement or giving a pat on your back, every time you achievea goal. Or you can have a conversation like a nagging critic - constantly trying tobadger your self-esteem- "that you're not good enough", " you have messed that up". Andthose kinds of conversation. Because your self-image matters. Because you radiatein the outside world what you think about yourself. One thing that can bemore tangible about self-image is the concept of inner scorecard. We all havean inner scorecard and an outer scorecard. The inner scorecard is abouthow we measure ourselves and the outer scorecard is how others measure us.

Warren Buffett puts it like this: 'Would you rather be theworld's greatest lover but have everyone think you're the world's worst lover' orwould you rather be the world's worst lover but have everyone think you're theworld's greatest lover'. In doing so Buffett outlines one of the ideas mostvital to leading a good life- the difference between an inner scorecardand an outer scorecard. Which matters more to you? How you evaluate yourself orhow the outside world evaluates you? Well in most cases, one can say that whatothers think of you is none of your business, and what you think aboutyourself must be your real concern. But what's wrong in having the best of bothworlds. Since the outer world is a direct reflection of what is going on inside us,the scorecard begins with our mind. If you want others to value you highly, youmust first begin to value yourself the same way as you radiate what you think.The scorecard is about your self expression of who we are on the deepinside. You don't live to impress people; but to express yourself in all wayspossible. To deal with a positive inner scorecard, you must learn to use your innercritic constructively. You must assume 100% responsibility for your thinking,and actions. Psychologists agree that people who have an 'internal locus ofcontrol' tend to be less influenced by the opinions of others, and work hard toachieve the things they want, and often achieve greater success in the workplace.Now maintaining a positive self-image is a deliberate exercise.

 You know it'snatural to think about things that are negative. It is natural to think aboutwhat is missing in life. It's very common to whine aboard things. So how do wethink positive? How do we stay in a state of mind, where you get to have positivethoughts. One of the best ways to do that is to substitute negative thoughts withpositive ones- instead of just suppressing negative thought.Suppression doesn't help, okay what is SUPPRESSEDwill be EXPRESSED in the later in UGLIER WAYS - that's what it's been said. So thebest thing is to think about things that is going great with your life - I call itthe ASSET BASED THINKING. Look at what is going great with your life at themoment. Think about things that you can be grateful for. Make a list of thingsthat you can be grateful for. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Making agratitude list every day is a healthy habit to get you focused on yourblessings. This is not wishful positive thinking. This is pure asset basedthinking. When you feel grateful for something, you are automatically focusingon your assets rather than liabilities. You begin your day by counting theblessings rather than focusing on what is missing in life. 

Now many people findthat it requires great diligence to cultivate an attitude of appreciation. Weare culturally conditioned to focus on what we don't have,rather than appreciating what we've already received. Now it's important thatyou always take the time to appreciate even the smallest blessings. It'simportant to activate your gratitude by acknowledging the gifts most people takefor granted. Now if you had food in your refrigerator, clothes in your closet, anda roof over your head, you were better off than 75 percent of the world'spopulation. Almost half the world over 3 billion people live on less than 2dollars and 50 cents a day and at least 80 percent of humanity lives on lessthan $10 a day. If you eat three meals a day you're far better off than the 1billion people on the planet who eat once a day at most. So take time toappreciate and celebrate these simple blessings. A daily habit of writingthings that you are grateful for shifts you are thinking from negativereflection of life to positive reflection. It's easier to get triggeredby negativity when there is within you. You know, having a calm and relaxedmind can help you stay relaxed and composed when people are trying to getonto your nerves. People with a positive self-image, they live their liferationally and objectively unlike the people who suck into thedrama tend to live their life emotionally and subjectively, being verysubjected to their external environment. People who have a great self-image do nottake the external negative environment to become their mindset - to become theirinternal environment. 

They are in charge of their internal environment. And thereis people who feed, who constantly feeding negativity, people are constantly feedingdrama, these people don't pay any attention. They are focused. They'recomposed and they're calm. And they're also well connected with people who arejust like them, who just believe in mutual empowerment. Always remember what youthink about yourself is what you bring about. Your face is the reflection of theconversation that you have with yourself. So if you want to be cheerful, entertainhappy thoughts. You are the creator so choose the thoughts that have the powerto empower you. If self image is what you think about yourself, then self esteem ishow you feel about yourself. And our self esteem is constantly attacked like aweakest player in a game and it's seem very low among the adolecsents today.This is because we have just like any other fragile beings who are constantlyjudging, constantly evaluating our progress every day. We feel good andexcited and we feel elated when things go according to our way - when we meetour expectations. And we feel extremely bad and disappointed when things don't go our way. Self-esteem is your vibrational andemotional state of being. Your mental state is determined by what you thinkand how you feel about it. Whether it's about what happened, or what is happening,or what would happen; this state is also determined by your surroundings, with thepeople you associate with and the circumstances you live in.We are constantly reacting and responding to our environment. We getstimulated and we respond to our stimuli- the responses.Our environment has a major impact on us. 

The environment determines how we mustfeel. But when the environment is not good or supportive; invincible peoplework on creating better environment for themselves. We are now living in a socialenvironment. Our feelings are entangle in this web of life. Every day we areabsorbing information through breaking news and social media. As a response to whatis happening around us, whether it is political, or economical, or theexploitation of the weak, we often feel anxious, helpless andangry. So if the evening news makes you anxious, it's better to turn off thetelevision. One of the major killers of thefeel-good factor is jealousy. Comparison is that thief of joy. It robs everythingyou admire about yourself and throws you into a pit of insecurity. It's humannature to feel envious, when you encounter successful people. But peoplewho are invincible admire successful people. If they see a rich man with afancy car, they will tell themselves that soon they will also have a car like that.This is so as they have wired themselves to scrape out something good ineverything, so they take this moment to manifest the car for themselves. You havegot to first, and fundamentally believe; that there is success, happiness, money,riches, possibility for everybody. 

There's enough for everybody; that nobody's incompetition with you. And that in fact- when you see somebody that has somethingthat you desire; you should be happy. You want to know why? You should be happybecause it's a sign that it's possible. It's a sign that it'scoming to you. It's a sign that you're on your way. If you allow envy to creep in;you have now aligned your life with the belief that there's not enough to goaround. You need to stop that right now. See, social creatures tend to live incomparison and the more we compare ourselves with the others, the greaterthe danger of jealousy. See comparison is the thief of joy.

 And here's a thing withenvy or being jealous, we tend to be envious of people were just like us -people who come from the same background, same career, same environment.It's like sportsman compare themselves with sportsmen. Actors with actors. Top executives compare themselves with other top executives from other companies.Youtubers with youtubers. See, you are not feeling jealous or you're comparingyourself with the Pope or you're not feeling jealous with the lifestyle ofthe Queen of England.