BUILD SELF CONFIDANCE #2

  You're always making this comparison with people whoare just like you - people who come from the same educational background, samefirm, same environment or people who move around in the same circle, which is also anindication that you're not dreaming that big. The temptation to draw comparisonsis all around us. The proliferation of the internet and social media has turnedjealousy into a modern-day obsession. 

We are part of an ongoing social experimentcalled the social media. Social media is the easiest breeding ground for jealousy.This is the platform where people document the best moments of their lives.Or if not the best, they make it their life's mission to make their lives lookexciting. But deep inside are as hollow as the people watching them and doubtingtheir own lifestyles. Social media is practically designed to make similarpeople compare themselves to others.

 You laugh at the idiots but envy the oneswho got what you don't. So whenever I feel jealous of someone else's successor body or intelligence I remind myself: what reaction is going to help meachieve what I want? Internalising this envy asinsecurity or as inspiration? I don't know about you, but I likefeeling inspired, a hell of a lot more than I do feeling insecure!! And what'swonderful is that when you do feel inspired by someone else's success, thenext natural question is well- how do they get there? What can I do that theydid to get where they are? 

Versus if you let your jealousy fester into resentment.Yeah whatever?!! I'm sure, she just got lucky or headlightconnections or something. You dismiss their success without ever exploring themethods of how they achieved it. So when you feel jealous, and we all do, you havea choice: You can let that jealousy make you feel like you're not good enough oryou can turn it into ambition. Invincible people have a control on how they mustfeel. Their 'feeling good'  factor is not entirely controlled by their outer world.But is controlled by their inner world. Remember that nobody can make you feelbad without your permission. Even if the people around you try hard to make youfeel bad on the inside; look within yourself and check your inner scorecard.Real action follows thinking and feeling and it's self-confidence that triggersaction.

 You embrace a sense of destiny when you have a strong purpose backed by astrong will and confidence.  You see, confidences is both a feeling, and action. Confidence is a feeling of certainty and assurance.Confidence is also an act of trust and reliance. Self-confidence is a powerfulemotion of being in control, a lack of self-doubt, a sense of feeling cool underpressure, and it's also a belief that you feel that, you can perform very well, andachieve a positive outcome under any circumstances. 

Self-confidence is alsothe ability to act despite fears and transcends the mere feeling part of it.It's important to know that it's an art that can be developed by anybody.According to Dr. Russ Harris, the author of the book THE CONFIDENCE GAP, there arefive reasons why people lack confidence. One: Too many expectations. When you havea mind that is never satisfied and always demanding to conquer more quests,but also fearful of making mistakes and become self-critical on not meetingexpectations, you suffer from perfectionism and it diminishes yourself-confidence. Two: Harsh self judgment. When your inner voice becomes highlycritical of you and undermines you into thinking that you are not good enough ortalk you out of your plans and dreams, your mind is playing with caution tostop you from doing something. It's natural to feel that way. Even the mosttalented people feel at times that they are not talented enough. Sometimes youwill suffer from an IMPOSTER SYNDROME, where your mind manages to convince youthat you're not really good and at any moment now your facade will come off.When you feel like an impostor, your mind is telling you that you need to workhard on something, to stay in the game. 

These feelings can be shut off withutmost resolve and confidence and belief in self.  Three: Preoccupation with fear. Fearis a natural human emotion that helps us with proper functioning of sympatheticnervous system that works on our fight-or-flight mode. Fear in itselfdoes not affect your confidence but dwelling in fear can paralyze you. Themore you feed into these fears, the larger it becomes- like a monster whichis set to annihilate everything in your life.Four:  Lack of experience. If you've had little or no experience in doingsomething, you can't expect to feel confident about it. You might be anexcellent guitar player but if you've never had the experience of playing livebefore a huge audience, then the first few gigs might be busts and you'rehighly unlikely to feel confident on stage.  Five: Lack of skills. It's notnatural to feel confident about doing something unless we are reasonably goodat doing it. Having poor skills or no skills can make you withdraw fromopportunities when they are presented to you. You can improve your confidence justlike any other skillset. Some people believe that just feeling confident cando wonders and their confidence is built on their belief. For others, it goesbeyond the mere belief.Their confidence is based on the ability to do something,and it is measured on how they rate their ability to achieve it.

Therefore self confidence can be improved in two ways. ONE. You have towork on your belief system by brainwashing yourself into believingthat you can do it even if you can't. This approach might work for somesituations but fails big-time when the feelings alone can't amount to success.There is a huge difference between 'feeling able' and 'being able'. Best-sellingauthor Dr.Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic in his book CONFIDENCE asserts thatconfidence and competence is well connected. According to him Barack Obamadid not become the first black president in US history because he was confident.Sir Richard Branson the founder of Virgin did not establish 400 companiesbecause of his confidence. Madonna did not sell 300 million records because ofher self belief, and Michael Jordan, Muhammad Ali, and Roger Federer did notachieve total domination in the sports arena because they felt good aboutthemselves. 

The reason these exceptional achievershave confidence is because they are exceptionally competent. It takes anextraordinary amount of talent and even more hard work to attain such levels ofcompetence. In fact, the only unusual thing about these people's confidence isthat it is an accurate reflection of their competence. This sets them apartfrom the majority of confident people who are just not verycompetent. You know psychologists often call the 'Confidence - Competence Loop'. Asyou become more competent in something, you learn how to do it. 

You're moreconfident in doing. As you learn how to ride a bike and you rode the bike moreand more and more, you became more skilled at it. You develop moreconfidence in your ability to ride the bike. Any area of your life you're gonnago into the for the first time, be okay with being uncertain!. Be okay with beinguncomfortable!. Be okay with not knowing how it's gonna turn out. Because it'syour first time, but stumble into it anyway. Because you stumble into it youdevelop skill. You develop comfort with it. And then suddenly one day you wake upsaying I'm pretty confident doing this. Nothing changed in who you are. Whatchanges is your level of competency, knowledge, skill and ability. That's whatcompetency is. Knowledge, skill, ability and talent. And so when we finallyrealized 'Oh wow!, I just need to learn a little bit more here. I'll be moreconfident. I just need to apply this a little bit more here, I'll be moreconfident. As you develop skills and abilities in your life in your uniqueareas you become more confident. 

There is a correlation between competence andconfidence. Ironically, people who appear to be highly confident are lesscompetent!!. There is a reason behind this: Most people are biased to think thatthey are better than average. Even hypothetically, we tend to show ouroverconfidence. Psychologists call it as THE OVER CONFIDENCE EFFECT. In surveys 84%of Frenchmen estimate that they are above-average lovers. In another survey93% of the US students estimated to be above-average drivers. Sometimes when Igive a presentation on my book I ask the audience, compared to the average personhere do you see yourself as an above-average safe car driver or belowaverage safe car driver. People raise their hands the result is always thesame. 90% of the people consider themselves above average. Realisticallyit should be 50/50 because the average more precisely the meaning is in themiddle. This many people in the audience overestimate their driving skills. Thisis called' the overconfidence effect'.

 There's no balancing under confidenceeffect. People just tend to systematically overestimate their skillsand knowledge. Not to underestimate them. You may not be surprised that men aremore prone to overconfidence than women. Now women overestimate their knowledgeand skills too but less strongly than men. Even more troubling, optimists arenot the only victims of overconfidence even pessimists overate themselvesjust less. In fact entrepreneurial activity would be a lot lower, if theoverconfidence effect did not exist. And so many of the decisions that peoplemake especially starting new businesses, I mean that is where it'sbeen studied most extensively. People think they will succeed. They open arestaurant because they think they will succeed. But in fact less than a third ofsmall businesses, they'll survive for five years.So clearly overconfidence is rife and overconfidence and loss aversion seem tobe acting in opposite directions. 

Bottom line humans have a tendency tooverestimate themselves. Most people overestimate their ability to perform,dismiss negative feedback as inaccurate and end up doing much worse. If you watchAmerican Idol or any talent show on television, you can see countless peoplewho have a distorted view of themselves and they appear very confident oftenlacking the real competence to be there in the first place. High confidence canmask low competence. 

Also people who appear to be very confident think thatthey are competent. When they blindly assume that level of perfection forthemselves they stop working on improving themselves. On the other handlow confidence helps you see your weaknesses and motivates you to overcomethem. It's better to have realistic self knowledge than distorted self belief, sothat you will know what you need to work on to get better. If you lack confidencein your abilities you'll be motivated to work harder for what you want to achieveand you'll be more likely to increase your competence as a result. The point isthat high confidence can be a curse because it can stop you from improvingsays Dr. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic. What happens when you're competent but lackconfidence. 

Now, if you study the lives of many professional athletes, to accomplishedachievers,  to millionaire entrepreneurs; you see that they lacked confidence. Soto gain confidence they needed to perfect their craft to a level of mastery.They had to really work hard to become competent. And if you study that processthen you will realize that; that's how they became exceptional achievers in thefirst place. One thing that high achievers have incommon is that they self-medicate their insecurities with success. Indeedalthough we are repeatedly told that exceptional achievers owe their successto their high confidence or self belief, it is more feasible to attribute it totheir insecurities.

 Why else would anybody work so hard and continue to doso even after accomplishing much more than most people. In that sense, one couldargue that the only difference between successful and unsuccessful people isthat the former care much more about their insecurities. So they are driven towork hard to overcome them. And the key point is that they work not on theirinsecurities but on achieving big things. The eminent psychologist Albert Bandurafamous for coining the term 'self-efficacy' which has been thepreferred academic word for self-confidence since the 1980s, alsopostulated that high competence leads to high confidence. So how do you feel aboutyour confidence level? Where do you gain your confidence from? Do you naturallyhave confidence? Well many of us get confidence either naturally, becausethat's kind of who we are or we build our confidence through different ways.One of those ways to build your confidence for some people is throughcompetence. 

So when you think about the difference between competence andconfidence: confidence is really about understanding- right understanding askill,  understanding a task and what it takes, and and knowing that you can bemaybe an expert or you can master something; because you're comfortablewith content, the knowledge, or the skill onhow to do it. So we think about competence, that we think about how do weget better at competence. Sometimes competence is a natural thing. But manytimes competence is like a skill that we learn. And so when you think aboutcompetence, think about something -  maybe like, when you jump into things quickly,you might feel more competent because you know how to do it. When you don'tjump in, you probably feel like you don't have the competence. So think back maybewhen you were younger and maybe just getting in started into sports andtrying a few different things and going okay I'm gonna first either you knowstep back because I really don't know how to play baseball or I really don'tknow how to play soccer I don't have the competence in this the actual sport toknow what I need to be doing.

 And you think about how did you respond to that.Did you respond to that by jumping in? Because you're like 'hey I'm willing andready to learn' which that's more about a confidence right- that you haveconfidence in yourself that when you get into something you can kind of figure itout. Where competence is really ' I don't know'. And so when you really think 'Goshhow do I approach things, what probably depends on the content right!,  for some ofus that content is comfortable, and when it's comfortable, we build our confidencewith that competence together.  Talk about this idea of 'the competence - confidenceloop' and the fact that confidence so often is based on our competence in aparticular skill or familiarity with that situation. The more comfortable weare, of course we're going to be more confident,  because we know we can perform.There's less uncertainty and then that confidence allows us to take action andpractice to develop more competence. And of course when we're starting at wedon't have very much competence, so to speak and so it makes sense that wewould feel less confidence. And so the challenge is that,  well how do weactually gain the confidence, to be able to start practicing-  to build competence.

And the answer really is in changing our expectation, that things are supposed tobe comfortable when we first start out. And challenging that belief that I needto get to a place where I'm comfortable and I'm not feeling anxious before Itake that first step. The secret to developing true confidenceis really understanding that we get to become comfortable with beinguncomfortable. To back to the idea of that loop, if we can't be confident inour competence, at the very least we should be able to be confidence in ourability to move through fear. To take action despite any discomfort. So that we canstart building competence that can reinforce our confidence in that area.And that ability to really be comfortable while being uncomfortable issomething I wish was taught way earlier if at all even. Because it's a skill thatcan be applied to any area of life. Towards any new skill or unfamiliarsituation that we encounter later on. The key is this: being dissatisfied withyourself is the best reason for wanting to improve. Having a little self doubtcan actually help you improve, and get better at your craft; but fakingconfidence without competence can expose your lack of skills someday. 

So if you'rebalancing your confidence with competence, stay hungry for more competence andskills rather than just looking confident. The bottom line is you gain confidencefrom competence. But when it comes to performance, whether it is in sport,business, or stage performance; you need confidence. Every great performance hasthree phases of performance. The pre- performance phase, the performance phase,and the post-performance response phase. In the pre-performance phase, yourconfidence will emanate from your competency, skills and previousexperience. For example, if you have spoken in front of an audience before,and if you possess great oratory skills, you will set the stage on fire, yet again with your words. 

The performance phase is about giving yourbest. And to give your best you need to constantly improve and to work on yourcompetencies and skills. Deliberate practice helps you build this kind ofconfidence. Confidence in the post- performance response phase is the realtest of confidence. At this phase, you need the confidence to handleconsequences both favorable and unfavorable. You must possess theabilities to handle rejections, failures and criticism that will be thrown at youwithout your consent. The real confidence is in dealing withthe consequences whether it's success or failure that comes after each action. Inbuilding confidence we must choose to live our life like a daring adventure, to step out of the comfort zone, to grow and explore and face newer challenges.Remember the only difference between confidence and lack of confidence isaction. See, action is the cure for low confidence. Infact,  low confidence has a tendency to immobilize us. But when you haveconfidence, we act, we venture, we plunge as though it is impossible for us to fail. Weact despite the fears. Being able is the action part of the confidence. Thereforeit is important to ask questions like- what is that one thing you dream of? ordare to do if you know that you won't fail?Remember confidence gives us the power to be invincible. From feeling to action,it must become a realistic belief. When you start believing yourself it becomesself-confidence.

 When you start believing in other people it becomes trust, honorand respect. When other people start believing in you; you become a trueleader. You become a beacon of hope, a symbol of your invincible self. Youhave been introduced to various self concepts that can help you build a greatinvincible personality. There's always a gap between your current self and yourfuture self. Your future self is your 'ideal self.'  Some people are clear abouttheir 'ideal self'. So the set plans, they have goals, they have schemes, and theyengage every day chasing their ideal self.When Matthew McConaughey won an Oscar for Best Actor in 2014, he gave anacceptance speech about 'who he looks up to', 'what he looks forward to', and 'who hechases - his hero. He said "when I was 15 years old, I had a very important personin my life come and ask me - who's your hero?" I said "I thought about it and it'sme in 10 years". So I turned to 25, ten years later and that same person comesto me and goes "Are you a hero?" I said " not even close. She said why? and Isaid "my hero is me at 35". You see every day, and every week, and every month, andevery year of my life, my hero is always 10 years away. 

I'm never going to be myhero. I'm not going to obtain that and that'sfine with me. Because it keeps me with somebody to keep on chasing". Actuallyinvincibility is embracing your self-ideal whether that's self ideal is 10years from now or 20 years from now, we are all in this pursuit,  we are all inthis chase for a better future for ourselves.  So here is the key. Tounderstand your self-ideal, with more clarity; you need to understand it'sdifferences from your current self.  Here is a simple step that you can follow.Step number one: is to understand your current self - to know who you are andwhere you are right now. Step number two is understanding your ideal self, who youwant to become and when you want to become that person. The third step is toknow the gap between the two.

 And the fourth step is to bridge that gap bybecoming the person that you want it to be, which is your ideal self and act likethat person right now. See when you act like  the person thatyou want to become, you end up becoming the person that you always wanted to be.So invincibility is about understanding the vision about yourselfand having the clarity about that person- that the person of the future- theperson of yourself ideal, and behave like that person, when you believe like thatperson, when you act like that person, when you talk like that person and when youincorporate all the qualities of that person in the present sense, you end upbecoming the person that you want to become.You become your self ideal. That's how personal transformations aredone. That's how people change.

 That's how people become invincible. When you checkon your current self you get clarity on your current mindset, habits, environment,goals, and focus. Your ideal self will require a change in the mindset, habits,environment, goals and focus. For example in your current mindset youhave specific thought patterns, beliefs, attitudes, and values that are differentfrom your ideal self. The same goes for habits. There are certain habits in dailyrituals that are required to achieve your ideal self.  Your environment andliving circumstances do change over time but conscious changes and improvementscan be done to reach your ideal self. Similarly, to set new goals, plans andprojects, to get to where you want to go, the focus, priorities, and time managementalso requires a lot of revisions to fill the gap between your current self andthe self ideal. Identifying the gap and filling the gap is a conscious,deliberate choice of personal change that will give you the desired results.Over time this is how personal transformations are done by makingconscious changes in your thinking, behaviors, habits, and focus day after dayuntil you become what you want to become. For the vast majority of us, confidenceis a choice. It's what we do during the course of our lives.

 It comes from doinghard things, taking on challenges, risking and failing, going outside our comfortzones. And every time you do something like that, you build a little bit ofconfidence. The personality has other dimensions as well. It's how you want theworld to perceive you as well. You will work on building a better outerscorecard as well. You will look the part. An invincibleperson radiates confidence, when he or she walks into a room. People notice them.They will look the part and will dress the part. You need to command attention,not by making yourself look important; but making your presence felt. Yourpersonal energy and magnetism must radiate around you.

 You are lively,empathetic, kind and genuine. You are a source of infectious energy. People loveto flock to you, stay around you, and will miss your presence; when you're notaround. When you speak, others listen. You pay attention to others by respectingothers, and your humility will dwarf others around you. You treat others well, and others respect you well. One of the biggest signs of beinginvincible is, you know, being larger than your problem. When you've become, biggerthan your problems presented, you become the solution. You will not panic or getoverwhelmed, or act helpless when a problem is presented to you. Rather you willstart analyzing the situation and get to the root of the problem, and will findall the resources possible to solve it. You are resilient.  You are dependable.People will come to you for solutions. Because they also know that, nothing inthis world can break your spirit. 

You gain invincibility through self-acceptance.You accept who you are with your strengths and shortcomings. You have asense of certainty, that no matter what the obstacles are; you are going to reachyour goals. You will not be bothered by what people say about you, because whatyou think about yourself and your inner scorecard matters the most.  You willaccept criticism constructively. You will analyze it and take the best out of whatthe world throws at you. You will take each day as an opportunity to discovermore about what you can become. When there are disappointments, you will workon better strategies to meet the expected outcome.

 You will see everythingwith the eyes of an optimist and you will work hard every day to make yourdreams a reality. You my friend, have an unshakable spirit that is hidden insideyou. Do not let that spirit reduce to mediocrity. Stay motivated, to raise thebar. Go for the next milestone in your life. You are a being, that is constantlyevolving and becoming.

 Become the person that your heart desires the most.Challenge yourself each day to move away from your current self to embrace yourideal self. Break your comforts by choosing the path of the most resistance.Have the courage to make bold decisions. Conquer your fears by doing things thatyou are uncomfortable with. Remember you are made invincible. You just need torecognize that and let go of everything that stops you from being invincible. 

BUILD SELF CONFIDANCE #1

 We humans are crafted in a delicatemanner but also are infused with amidst vigor but still there are moments whenwe find our heads underwater. Many people crumble under pressure somemay even break down and fall into the trap of self-pity and loathe holding onto a narrative that the odds are stacked against them. But there are exceptionalindividuals who can see the beauty in their darkest moments. They can recalltheir struggles and pain as something that made them stronger and invincible. Throughout history we have witnessedcertain individuals who are strong-willed tenacious and resilientpossessing unshakable grit and confidence. 

These people are not bornthis way they have fallen a lot of times and gotten back on their feet whichcultivated an ability to deal with things in a better way. They choose toremain unaffected and indifferent to the negative opinions and criticisms thatare thrown at them by people rejections and failures. They have the uncanny lifeskill to deal with the inevitable circumstances of adversity extremechallenges and uncertainties of life. They lead of life on their terms. Theyhave a mastery over their external circumstances because they have a stronginternal mindset to master their environments. Let's call them theinvincible. 

This documentary is about dealing with fear, cultivating confidencein yourself, and helping you master your environment so that you too can developa quality of persistence of continuing resolutely despite setbacks andadversities in life. Being invincible and confident is not the absence of fear.Invincibility is about transforming a relationship with fear. Fear is not theenemy. The feeling of fear is just like any other emotion. Fear is actuallyinforming you; fear is telling you that you need to do something either do moreresearch get some support, get some insight, study a little more, slow down-fear is actually feeding you. So then ask yourself the question what do I need todo, think, or go get to dissipate this fear. And then secondly recognize thatfear doesn't mean STOP!. People think Oh!! I'm afraid, let me stop. Okay that's achoice to stop.

 Fear doesn't necessarily mean stop. Fear might mean proceed withcaution, or proceed with more strategy. Fear doesn't, whenever I'm feeling fearit doesn't tell me. So I don't you think now to stop with a fear. I do think toslow down, go get some help, go get some insight.Voice my fear so that it's not  just all in my head.Recognize that fear is going to come in; when you're playing bigger than you'veever played before. I say if your knees aren't knocking and your teeth aren'tchattering, just a little at least then you're not playing big enough. The biggeryou play, the more you're gonna feel your knees knock and you hear your teeth chatter. 

 And I am always playing big I'm always feeling my knees knock. AndI'm always hearing my teeth chatter. But I've created a relationship with thatfear. Every culture demonizes fear as a major sign of weakness especially in men.They depict great men of courage as people who are fearless this gives us adelusional idea that confident people don't experience fear. As kids we getconditioned into thinking that feeling frightened is silly and stupid. Maybe atsome part of your early life you've been called a crybaby or heard taunts likeboys don't cry, or don't be a sissy. These taunts are powerfully reinforcedby our pop culture. Also we see heroes and superheroes who are fearless in theface of the villains. We see  these heroes laid back with a straight andconfident face even when the villains point a gun at them.Ccourage is glorifiedin movies and puts it on such a pedestal which makes one feel that feelinganything less than that is being less of a real-life hero.

 So fear is despised assomething we should never feel in our lives, while its omnipresent residing inevery living man and in every step he takes. Fear is a powerful tool. It's apowerful fuel that makes us human. We don't succeed despite fear; we succeed inthe face of it, and by conquering it, rather than by avoiding or ignoring it.Invincibility is a strength of character. We develop this through our self ideals.Your self ideal is a combination of the qualities and attributes that you admiremost in other people living and dead. It is the sum of all your dominantaspirations. It is your vision of what the perfect person should be. It is yourvision of your future self. 

Your self ideal is what you dream about yourself.It's the dream self, who you want to mould and develop into. But self image is whatyou think about yourself. It's the sum of your current self.Between your current self and your future self, there is a gap that you tendto fill through your growth journey. To put that in perspective- 'we are not justhuman beings, but human becomings'. We all tend to pursue our ideal self. There aretwo people within us: one of them is who we are which is your self image, and theother one is who we want to become- which is your self ideal. 

To understand selfconcepts further, you need to also understand both the 'self esteem' and 'selfconfidence'. Self esteem is how you feel about yourself. Self confidence is whatyou do. Invincible people envision an ideal life. They also possess a positiveself-image. Their self esteem and confidence help them move forward andconquer any challenges. Therefore you become an invincible person; when youbegin to think, feel, and act like one. To become invincible you need to be aperson with a mission. The purpose in life gives you the directions, and yourinner compass guides you. But first to understand invincibility you need toaccept that the real hero in your life is YOU.  It is not the ones you see inthat idiot box of yours or in the theatres who are fabricated toperfection.

 You are the hero. And your life is yourstory. You script it with your aspirations and dreams. And once you'repassionate enough you take action irrespective of what may come your way.You persist because you need to complete your journey. You have the power andnothing has more power over you. To become invincible you need to becomethe person with a mission. You need to feel A SENSE OF DESTINY  that is callingout for you. When purpose is awakened in your soul, life becomes meaningful andfulfilling. The long term optimism of invincible people is unshakable nomatter how many speed breakers they hit. They have a deep enough faith a sense ofdestiny and that is very much the foundation of being invincible. Here theyknow for the fact that no matter what happens, no matter what the obstacles are,they gonna achieve the outcome eventually. Being invincible can help youovercome any kind of adversities, self-doubt lack of motivation, cynicism,pessimism, criticism or contempt. People who lack this they feel that, there'snothing in their control. 

They feel like the victims of circumstances and theyalso have a very negative and pessimistic outlook towards their lives.Another nickel you want in your pocket to become invincible is having a greatself image. Self image is the way you think and perceive yourself. Do you knowthat you have an image of yourself inside?. When you stand in front of amirror, you see a reflection of the physical you. Now that's not the real you.You have a picture of yourself in your mind. Do you know when a person improvestheir self-image, they change their entire life. Their income change. Theirrelationships change. Their health changes. And you know how you do that?Start studying you!!. Start to find out more about you. There's somethingphenomenal about you. 

Do you know when I began to study this material 57 yearsago. I had very poor self-image. I had low self-esteem.I took dumb jobs. I never earned any money. I never had fun. I had poorrelationships. And as I started to study- start to study real solid information;everything in my life started to improve. I've got friends all over the worldtoday. I earned millions of dollars. I'm in my 80s and I get as much energy as aperson in their 30s. You see when you start to understand really who you are!.You're God's highest form of creation. There's things about you that just aboutblow your mind as you start to study and really understand them. You'll walk alittle taller you'll stand a little straighter, and youknow something - you'll enjoy a whole lot more of life. You can have a healthyself-image or an unhealthy self-image. But what is more important for personaldevelopment is a realistic representation of you with all yourstrengths and weaknesses. Self Image acts like an inner reflection or a mirror, orwhat you choose to see in yourself.It is developed by the conversation that youhave with yourself when nobody's around - just you and your being.

 What do youthink about your self matters, and it is influenced by everything that envelopsyou. You know; it is said that people are made up of the people they meet and thebooks they read. So, in your inner conversations - in your inner dialogue,you could be talking to yourself like a coach - like every time trying to give youthe words of encouragement or giving a pat on your back, every time you achievea goal. Or you can have a conversation like a nagging critic - constantly trying tobadger your self-esteem- "that you're not good enough", " you have messed that up". Andthose kinds of conversation. Because your self-image matters. Because you radiatein the outside world what you think about yourself. One thing that can bemore tangible about self-image is the concept of inner scorecard. We all havean inner scorecard and an outer scorecard. The inner scorecard is abouthow we measure ourselves and the outer scorecard is how others measure us.

Warren Buffett puts it like this: 'Would you rather be theworld's greatest lover but have everyone think you're the world's worst lover' orwould you rather be the world's worst lover but have everyone think you're theworld's greatest lover'. In doing so Buffett outlines one of the ideas mostvital to leading a good life- the difference between an inner scorecardand an outer scorecard. Which matters more to you? How you evaluate yourself orhow the outside world evaluates you? Well in most cases, one can say that whatothers think of you is none of your business, and what you think aboutyourself must be your real concern. But what's wrong in having the best of bothworlds. Since the outer world is a direct reflection of what is going on inside us,the scorecard begins with our mind. If you want others to value you highly, youmust first begin to value yourself the same way as you radiate what you think.The scorecard is about your self expression of who we are on the deepinside. You don't live to impress people; but to express yourself in all wayspossible. To deal with a positive inner scorecard, you must learn to use your innercritic constructively. You must assume 100% responsibility for your thinking,and actions. Psychologists agree that people who have an 'internal locus ofcontrol' tend to be less influenced by the opinions of others, and work hard toachieve the things they want, and often achieve greater success in the workplace.Now maintaining a positive self-image is a deliberate exercise.

 You know it'snatural to think about things that are negative. It is natural to think aboutwhat is missing in life. It's very common to whine aboard things. So how do wethink positive? How do we stay in a state of mind, where you get to have positivethoughts. One of the best ways to do that is to substitute negative thoughts withpositive ones- instead of just suppressing negative thought.Suppression doesn't help, okay what is SUPPRESSEDwill be EXPRESSED in the later in UGLIER WAYS - that's what it's been said. So thebest thing is to think about things that is going great with your life - I call itthe ASSET BASED THINKING. Look at what is going great with your life at themoment. Think about things that you can be grateful for. Make a list of thingsthat you can be grateful for. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Making agratitude list every day is a healthy habit to get you focused on yourblessings. This is not wishful positive thinking. This is pure asset basedthinking. When you feel grateful for something, you are automatically focusingon your assets rather than liabilities. You begin your day by counting theblessings rather than focusing on what is missing in life. 

Now many people findthat it requires great diligence to cultivate an attitude of appreciation. Weare culturally conditioned to focus on what we don't have,rather than appreciating what we've already received. Now it's important thatyou always take the time to appreciate even the smallest blessings. It'simportant to activate your gratitude by acknowledging the gifts most people takefor granted. Now if you had food in your refrigerator, clothes in your closet, anda roof over your head, you were better off than 75 percent of the world'spopulation. Almost half the world over 3 billion people live on less than 2dollars and 50 cents a day and at least 80 percent of humanity lives on lessthan $10 a day. If you eat three meals a day you're far better off than the 1billion people on the planet who eat once a day at most. So take time toappreciate and celebrate these simple blessings. A daily habit of writingthings that you are grateful for shifts you are thinking from negativereflection of life to positive reflection. It's easier to get triggeredby negativity when there is within you. You know, having a calm and relaxedmind can help you stay relaxed and composed when people are trying to getonto your nerves. People with a positive self-image, they live their liferationally and objectively unlike the people who suck into thedrama tend to live their life emotionally and subjectively, being verysubjected to their external environment. People who have a great self-image do nottake the external negative environment to become their mindset - to become theirinternal environment. 

They are in charge of their internal environment. And thereis people who feed, who constantly feeding negativity, people are constantly feedingdrama, these people don't pay any attention. They are focused. They'recomposed and they're calm. And they're also well connected with people who arejust like them, who just believe in mutual empowerment. Always remember what youthink about yourself is what you bring about. Your face is the reflection of theconversation that you have with yourself. So if you want to be cheerful, entertainhappy thoughts. You are the creator so choose the thoughts that have the powerto empower you. If self image is what you think about yourself, then self esteem ishow you feel about yourself. And our self esteem is constantly attacked like aweakest player in a game and it's seem very low among the adolecsents today.This is because we have just like any other fragile beings who are constantlyjudging, constantly evaluating our progress every day. We feel good andexcited and we feel elated when things go according to our way - when we meetour expectations. And we feel extremely bad and disappointed when things don't go our way. Self-esteem is your vibrational andemotional state of being. Your mental state is determined by what you thinkand how you feel about it. Whether it's about what happened, or what is happening,or what would happen; this state is also determined by your surroundings, with thepeople you associate with and the circumstances you live in.We are constantly reacting and responding to our environment. We getstimulated and we respond to our stimuli- the responses.Our environment has a major impact on us. 

The environment determines how we mustfeel. But when the environment is not good or supportive; invincible peoplework on creating better environment for themselves. We are now living in a socialenvironment. Our feelings are entangle in this web of life. Every day we areabsorbing information through breaking news and social media. As a response to whatis happening around us, whether it is political, or economical, or theexploitation of the weak, we often feel anxious, helpless andangry. So if the evening news makes you anxious, it's better to turn off thetelevision. One of the major killers of thefeel-good factor is jealousy. Comparison is that thief of joy. It robs everythingyou admire about yourself and throws you into a pit of insecurity. It's humannature to feel envious, when you encounter successful people. But peoplewho are invincible admire successful people. If they see a rich man with afancy car, they will tell themselves that soon they will also have a car like that.This is so as they have wired themselves to scrape out something good ineverything, so they take this moment to manifest the car for themselves. You havegot to first, and fundamentally believe; that there is success, happiness, money,riches, possibility for everybody. 

There's enough for everybody; that nobody's incompetition with you. And that in fact- when you see somebody that has somethingthat you desire; you should be happy. You want to know why? You should be happybecause it's a sign that it's possible. It's a sign that it'scoming to you. It's a sign that you're on your way. If you allow envy to creep in;you have now aligned your life with the belief that there's not enough to goaround. You need to stop that right now. See, social creatures tend to live incomparison and the more we compare ourselves with the others, the greaterthe danger of jealousy. See comparison is the thief of joy.

 And here's a thing withenvy or being jealous, we tend to be envious of people were just like us -people who come from the same background, same career, same environment.It's like sportsman compare themselves with sportsmen. Actors with actors. Top executives compare themselves with other top executives from other companies.Youtubers with youtubers. See, you are not feeling jealous or you're comparingyourself with the Pope or you're not feeling jealous with the lifestyle ofthe Queen of England. 

WORK HARD PAYS OFF #2

You're born an infant, alump of flesh that can't even hold its own head up and yet somehow bypracticing, by learning, by growing you're able to get better. You're literallyincapable of anything when you're born every skill that you have in your lifeall the things that you take for granted at one point you couldn't do them sounderstanding that humans truly are an adaptation machine and that they arecapable of acquiring any skill that they want but it requires hard work, itrequires that you do the reps, it requires that you put in the effort andat the end of the day the people that you're going to surpass are not going tobe the people that have less talent than you. Maybe they even have more talentthan you. It's going to be the people that you're willing to outwork butuntil you're willing to outwork them you're always going to be stuck and asJohn Irving said, to do anything really well you have to overextend yourself andthat's the key. 

If you want to put in an extraordinary performance, if you want toabsolutely dazzle people, then you have to do something amazing, youhave to be willing to put yourself out there, you have to be willing to dothings that other people think are gonna break you, that other people simplybelieve there's no way that you could be able to pull that off that the humananatomy just is not capable of the lengths to which you are professing to go andwhen you profess it, you have to be willing to back it up and you have toput yourself on that marsh knowing in no uncertain terms, under no circumstancesand for no reason whatsoever would you ever be willing to back down and whenyou go in with that level of certainty then and only then are you actuallygonna be able to pull this off and as Billie Jean King said, champions keepplaying until they get it right. Fatigue will literally chip away at your will towin. It is the thing inside of your mind that weak voice that tells you thatyou're not going to be able to make it the weak voice that begs you to stop andthe weak voice that promises safety and security if you would just quit andhere's the worst part about that. It's right.If you quit right now, if you stop, just sit down, relax, you're not at riskanymore, you're not at risk of embarrassment, you're not at risk offailure but you're also not at risk of greatnessand if you really want to achieve something. 

You've got to find ways to putyourself at risk of something great happening. You've got to put yourself atrisk of overextending yourself, you've got to be willing to face that you maydie, that you may actually fall and here's the thing for the people thatdismiss that, that say they would never put themselves in that situation, thenyou have limits and make no mistake those limits are self placed and for thepeople that are willing to push that, for people that are willing to go beyondthat, for people who understand there are things in this world that they'reprepared to die for and it is the thing that they put at the center of theirlife, it is the thing that they are living for but they're not gonna stopand they understand that where the human mind thinks it will break, is far shortof where it will actually break but before you can find that point, you'vegot to be willing to push yourself you've got to be willing to go harderand farther than anybody thinks is reasonable or sensible. 

That's the pathand so the question is can you be thought a fool, the question is do youbelieve in something so much that you would put yourself at risk like that, thequestion is can you face down everyone including the weak voice inside of yourown mind to make the world come true that you want to see come true becauseat the end of the day nobody's gonna do it for you. So if you're a champion, keepgoing until it's done. As Theodore Vail noted, real difficultiescan be overcome. It's only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable. The reason that I lovethat is because it is a powerful reminder at the end of the day, you'rechoosing what to believe. At the end of the day, all those things in your headthat seem like you could never get over them, you've made them up. You've decidedto obsessively focus on those things and as Oprah said, what we dwell on is who webecome and think about that for a second. 

Think about today. Just audit yourthoughts, what did you spend your time thinking on? Did you obsessively thinkabout the way that things could go right? Or did you obsessively think about thethings that could go wrong? All the myriad ways that you need toprotect yourself and that's how it feels. In the moment you think I'm justplanning for the worst-case scenario, I'm thinking through all the ways thatsomething could go wrong so that I can be prepared for it. Not understandingthat what you're doing is focusing on all the ways that it could go wrong.They're imagined futures. They are not real and in that like a race car drivergoes where the eyes go, you will go where your thoughts go. You will become yourthoughts so instead of boxing yourself in and thinking only about all thedifferent ways that something could be bad, could break, could fall to pieces,think about all the things that you could do if you take the action. All themyriad ways that things could come to your aid and work out for the better.Obsessively think on that and let failure be a total surprise in that youwill take the actions that you need to be successful but first you've got totrain yourself to obsess over all the waysyour life could go right. From there, you'll act. You gotta put your whole self in, right?You got to cut off the cell phone, you got it no TV. There were those of you whowere watching the game last night you really didn't have no business watchingthese boys win a national title, going to the NBA and making millions. You didn't haveno business watching them because you're not where you need to be, right? Some ofy'all have no business watching the basketball game because you're not whereyou need to be.

 If you put your whole self in and got a 1.5, I'm loving you. Twothree years from now that 1.5 is gonna turn into turn into a 2.5, you gonnabe alright I know from personal experience. So wegot three weeks. I need all televisions off, I need cellphones off, listen to me some of you gonna be broke for the rest of your lifebecause of that little thing on the side. You're gonna be broke for the rest ofyour life because of a little cell phone and so you got three weeks. Ineed you to study like you've never studied before. I need you up all nightlong studying. You hear me say this all thetime but some of you, this is it. You've heard me say it before you play gameswhen you come here because you got gear on but you know where you from inDetroit. You know where you from in Flint, you know where you're from in Saginawand you know your parents are broke. You know some of you got about seveneight folks living in one house and it ain't no real room for you when you goback.

 This your opportunity to blow up but we know the reality with some of us,where we live and our parents don't have no money and they taking out loansworking two or three jobs for you while you up here playing. Listen to me I need you to put your whole self in for the next threeweek cause you got it and even if you say Eric look man you don'tunderstand if I put everything in I'm still gonna get a 1.0. I'm telling you todo it anyway because you know I took one English three times like a little basicone so listen to me I need you to give a hundred and twenty percent these lastfew weeks all right. Don't go home wherever you're from, don't go home thisis your home now. It's like you don't take life tooseriously but you also have to take your progress seriously because if you do notthen you'll wake up in a couple years from now and you'll be just where you arenow, just exactly where you are now so your life will blow by faster than you realize, like super super fast. Right now a year passes for me, feels likea week. That's how it feels. Years will blow by. 

Four years from nowwill seem like nothing dude, people don't work dude, it's so crazy how littlepeople work, people go to work for eight hours, it's like two hours. What are theydoing? I watch people work, I'm like what is he doing, why is he here? Don't justsit here, go run, play, don't sit here in this weird gray zone between working and notworking, what are you doing? So because of that, work ethic is built right, so it'slike a- it's like a- like an endurance race so the thing is like you- youbuild that up, that's why like- I love these guys that are like the economy is gettingbad man, I'm like no you're a pussy, you want to keep being a pussy andthen- and then have easy money given to you. People just don't work. They have nowork ethic, I never meet anybody with work ethic like rarely. When I do, I'm like yo high five dude and then we're like instantly friends because almost nobody has a workethic, it's so crazy. I'm having as much fun working as I do messing around, youguys see that? There's no difference to me. I don't care if I'm working if I'mhaving fun. 

Recreation is overrated. People think you need to be having recreation to have fun, you don't. I can't have fun working,why not it's your attitude towards the work. Now sometimes work can be tough, Iget that. it can be miserabl,e it can be soul sucking but- but in general you, it'smental strength, you choose to have fun because you have no mental muscle thatchooses to have fun at that point. It's like what could be possible after 10years? I started thinking like that. Like what could I look like in 10 years, whatcould I look like in 20 years, what could I look like in 30 years, if you're 20 youshould be thinking what could you look like in 30 years? I'm not afraid to failI'm not afraid to fall over make a mistake That often time cripples people on the onset of getting too into anything The first time ever picked up the DJ. Decks was horrible horrible now, but I'm not afraid of that I'm not afraid of that feeling it actually propels me. It works quite the opposite. I can do 18- 22 hours a dayeasily. 

I'm a veteran at being able to look at an opportunity and go is thatgoing to take me forever or not? Some people don't have that, you won't. It'ssomething you develop, you know that's why most times out of 10, any head of acompany has been doing it for a long time because they inherently can make adecision in the blink of an eye but you have to learn that. My breakthrough wasactually deciding I wanted to be an actor. The other thing that's important, Ithink is to keep your head down you know keep your head down like when I swim about25 laps, guaranteed if I look up and start counting those laps, I'm peeteredout by 15. If I put my head down and keep working away and work a technique, workit, internal rhythm and work it, mmm I hit that length, I don't even know whatlength I'm on, guarantee you I'll look up and it'll be 20 and two more, three more to go.

I think people find themselves incrementally checking how farthey've gone and that, you know when you compare to anybody else or whatever, it's just a- it's arecipe for disaster. Just keep banging on, you know that's the mostimportant. Mountain climbers will probably tell you the same thing, there's no point in looking,the difference between climbing a hundred feet and climbing 500 feet isa point of view. You don't know you're at the top until you get there pal and that'swhat you need to remember. Just don't look down. It changed my life, it turned my dreamsinto a reality. It gave me an actual, tangible target togo oh actually I could do this, that was my- that was my biggest breakthrough. Ofcourse there have been numerous breakthroughs over my career, in my life which I'm allproud of but none so much as that realization that I want to be anactor. Know what your target is, don't guess it, be as clued up as the next manbecause that's- that's- that's your petrol that's your- your- your fuel to get you moving.

 Ifyou don't know where you're going and what your targets are, you're never gonna getthere, period. Work hard, sleep less. Stop crying, stop begging. Put forth the effortcuz one thing I know about life, whatever you sow, you're gonna reap. If you put amillion apple seeds in the ground, you're gonna get a million apple trees back.Stop whining, stop- and put forth effort and we had to step back andanalyze our work, we had to critique our work, we had to bring our work in the labevery day and we had to look at it in ways that we had never looked at itbefore and when we looked at it we made one change. We realized that we werespeaking without the proper microphone and when we changed our microphone, ourviews went from two thousand to three thousand and twenty thousand in 24hours. It was the little things that made a difference and I want you to know it'sthe little stuff, it's your attitude. When you come in as a franchise owner, youcome in with energy, your people are gonna have energy but when you have abad day and you're not mature enough to leave it in the car and you take it intothe franchise, it's contagious. Somebody told me before Eric your- your-your actions speak so loud I can't hear what you're saying.

 It's contagious andso if you want them to do it, they got to see you doing it. If they're gonna learnhow to do it to a level of expertise they've got to see you doing it so it'sthe little things and I dare you. Some of you you're so, listen to mesome of you may be so arrogant, I don't know, some of you may be so cocky, I don'tknow, some of you may be so confident, I don't know that you never step back andlook at your work and when anything goes wrong you automaticallylook out the window instead of looking in the mirror and I dare you in 2013 toto look in the mirror first. I dare you to analyze yourself firstyour company first, your character, your behavior, your- your- your- your- your workethic, I dare you to analyze it and see if there's any change you can make.Somebody told you that hard work don't pay off. I'm here to tell you if you workfor it, if you willing to put in that sweat that blood and those tears baby, I'mtelling you. You can have what you want be what you want, do what you want.Are you hearing me? Keep going until you see it. Don't quit, don't give up, listen to medon't give up, don't give in, you hang in there, you hang in there because if youquit right now you ain't gonna never see it but if you hold on, if you hold oneverything you dreamed of, everything you envisioned, everything you worked forit's coming but you can't quit or give up before you get it. If you work hard youcan have it, it ain't nothing you can't have, you deserve it. There ain't nothing you can't have if you willing to work for it, there ain't nothing you can'thave if you willing to persevere, if you're willing to stick in there, if youwiling to stay, if you're willing to fight, ain't nothing you can't have. 

Are you hearing what your boy istelling you? It's yours, it's yours I'm coming, I'm telling you, it's yours. Youcan have it, it's yours. You can do it it's yours, youcan be it, it's yours. If ET can do it, listen to me anybody can do it. High schooldropout, homeless, lived in abandoned buildings, twelve years to get afour-year degree, if you want it, if you want it as bad as you wanna breathe, ifyou really, really want it like you say you want it, you can have it. This ain't forthe weak and the uncommitted. Are you hearing me?Success is not for the weak and the uncommitted this is physical. Sometimes it's gonnahurt, sometimes it's gonna be painful, it's hard, yep it's hard, yep it's difficult, yepwhy because the process is weeding out the weak, it's weeding out the weak and sosometimes you've got to play hard you got to play physical, you got to playtough, execution is worship. You got to get to a place that when you start ityou get to the middle of it, the doldrums and you finish it. 

Are you hearingme and not just finish, finish strong. Listen to me very closely. Most of you thereason why you'll never be successful is because you procrastinate, youprocrastinate, you never finish stuff. Don't get caught up in well I tried itfour or five times and things didn't work out. If there's something that youwant and you're hungry for it, you've got to do whatever is necessary until andwhen you give the best you can and that's not enough, you must do what isrequired and don't give up on yourself. Don'tthrow the towel in so quickly. The secret to success is finish it. Execution isworship. Are you hearing me, oh you better hear what I'm telling you baby,listen to me very closely. Execution is worship. 

WORK HARD PAYS OFF #1

There are those of you who will never get to thenext level in success or in your life because when you get to this point, you-you- you bend. It's simple. My man said,  you can do whatever you want to do. You'renot gonna flip the switch at 30 years old and have the big house, nice cars anda fat bank account just because you wished it. You got to put in the work nowand that work compounds and accumulates and puts you in a position to have thatopportunity when you are of that age. So what did I do?I worked. I worked to such an extreme level that when I push you onwork I don't even ask you to do 50% of what Idid. Your mama didn't like the fact that you was doing it, your mama didn'tunderstand and you let your mom in your ear like it was your mama's dream. You letyour daddy talk you out of it. That was yours! That was something the creator gave to you.

 That belonged to you. My mother never understood but sheworking for me now. I didn't quit because people didn't understand, Iworked harder. You've never done something before, you expect yourself tobe awesome at it, you haven't done the work, you haven't put in the time, youhaven't put in the study hours and what I'm doing now I was doing 20 years agoand I have not bent, I didn't break. So what you don't understand how I do whatI do, this is what I've been called to and under no circumstances will Isurrender. 

Under no circumstance will I quit. If you want to be somebody who succeeds, you want tobe somebody who builds something, you want to be somebody who people write booksabout one day? Hear what I'm saying. Don't feed into it, don't believe thehype. Somebody told you that hard work don't pay off and you let a little pain stop you from your dream, girl you was there you was running your business, you werethere. Listen to me if you work for it if you willing to put in that sweat, thatblood and those tears, baby I'm telling you, you can have what you want, be whatyou want, do what you want, are you hearing me? During that point what did i do? Is Idid what I preach to all of you, which is I put in the work. I gave up all myweekends and holidays in high school because I knew I had to pay that pricebecause I wasn't gonna do the I'm gonna go to school, meet some good kids atStanford and Brown, an Ivy League school make some relationships and that's gonnabe my springboard.

 I was gonna start with no relationships and in the gutter and Iwas gonna have to prove it and I would have to show up and meet everybody likeI did in my 30s, but in my teens and 20s I was gonna have to work and so what Idid was, to the extreme of anybody I've met that had options, I punted everyleisure activity in my life. Nothing. No weekends, no vacations, zero, nothing.Nothing. It's my truth. I didn't take a singlevacation day. Never. Zero. Zero. All my high school friends gone, because I wasn'taround, all my college friends, post college, gone.Girlfriends, nothing.

 All in. Kobe Bryant doesn't sit there and talk about howmany MVPs he's won or how many championships he's won, no. He is up at3 o'clock in the morning, practicing every day.He's not great because he's great, he's great because he puts the work in on adaily basis and he wins every day and if you want it, you gotta go get it, you got toplay hard for it. Are you hearing what I'm telling you? It'snot for the weak and the uncommitted.

 The reason why you saying no to stuff, thereason why you pushing the snooze button  the reason why you're still going to worktrippin, the reason why you ain't blowing up is because you still on 70%, you stillon 60%, you wonder why the world's passing you up because whatever you dofor a living, you barely doing it. You coming and you don't want to be there.You're not bringing the fire. You gotta do it quick, you got to do it fast, yougotta do it in a hurry, why? Because there's somebody else who's on the sametrack you are, somebody else who listen to me, they're on the same path that you are,listen to me there's somebody else just like you trying to do it and sometimes they'reworking just as hard as you're working. Quit usin

g the word luck, quit believing inluck and start believing in work. Start believing in fortunate, start believingin results that come from your actions and when you do that and youwholeheartedly believe it, guess what? That's what starts to happen. The hardest worker in the room is alwaysgonna beat the talented guy who doesn't work hard. In the end, maybe not everytime but in the end, hard work always wins.Talent doesn’t guarantee you anything in this world. A good education doesn’t guarantee you anything in this world The world is riddled with smart people who have never achieved anything of significance. 

This world is full of talented individuals that never made it. The world is full of expensively educated kids that are out performed by high school drop outs. Talent won’t get you anywhere if you don’t WORK for it. Talent won’t get you anywhere if you have no HEARTTalent is NOTHING if you have no GUTS! The one who is hungrier to reach the top, will always get there before the talented guy. Maybe not immediately, but in the end HUNGRY always wins. In the end HARD WORK always wins! In the end HEART wins! COURAGE wins! In the end the one who is more DEDICATED to reach the top will win. How can you beat the guy who will do whatever it takes?You can’t! HARD WORK always beats talent, when talent thinks he’s too good to work hard. 

TALENT can be a blessing, but it can also be a curse. It can make you think you don’t need to work as hard as the other guy… And that is a mistake my friend, because the other guy is HUNGRY.He is hunting your ass down! Ready TO FIGHT FIGHT for everything, FIGHT for his familyFIGHT for his LEGACY, FIGHT for everything! Most people give up in life because they come up with all sorts of EXCUSES why they can’t make it: They didn’t get the right education, they aren’t as talented as the other guy..…the don’t have the money Listen: EXCUSES ARE FOR THE WEAK!It wouldn’t take you long to find a massive success story, who came from little education, no talent but a RELENTLESS DESIRE to succeed.

 This world is full of stories of GREATNESS from NOTHING. It is never too late for YOU to start your own story. Every set back, every failure has formed part of your story. DON’T LET ANYTHING STOP YOU FROM WRITING THE REST OF IT! YOU ARE HUNGRY! YOU WILL MAKE IT! DON’T BACK DOWN!WIN AT ALL COSTS! As Derek Jeter said, there may be peoplewho have more talent than you but there's no excuse for anyone to workharder than you do. At the end of the day whether you believe in talent or not iscompletely irrelevant. Everyone should believe in hard work.Everything in your life is literally a result of that.

NEVER BACK DOWN #3

 If you're doing that day in and day out it has to affect how you feel about yourself, your level of motivation, your relationships what kind of impact is that having on your life is it nourishing or is it a toxic relationship? Does it drain you or does it build you up? Ask yourself that. How motivated are you to do something about it? Your contribution, your actions. What are you giving? Many people will leave the universe without a trace. No one will know they were here and in fact under their name we could put under there, not used up. Will anybody know that you came this way? What contribution are you giving? What will you leave, what will be different because you came this way? Just stop for a second. Write down your why.

 What are you doing this for in life? If your why doesn't make you cry then that's not your why. Again, if your why doesn't make you cry then that's not your why. Your why should be something so big that it moves your family tree. Your why should be something so big that it changes the whole outlook on how things are with you and your home, your family, your religion your purpose. Think about your passion think about your opportunities and that's how you find your purpose. OPP. When that why meets up with your passion, your opportunity, your purpose then you'll find out the most important day in your life is the day you remember why you were born and you're going to have to look that darkness in its eyes and not look away from the darkness but rather look straight in the eyes and say I no longer need you I am no longer that darkness and so that darkness will not thrive, it will not survive, that darkness will die that darkness will go away not because you forced it out but because you no longer fear the darkness you let go, you let go the darkness, free up space for the light and when the light gains power when the light regains its power it will overpower any darkness that may try to seep and seek into your mind and body and life it will stride far greater than any darkness has. But you must free yourself from the dark by going deep into a depths of it and understanding it by not running your entire life from it but instead right now today, tomorrow, soon look it in the eyes and say I no longer fear you I have a life to live nothing is hopeless, nothing is worthless, I am powerful, I am beautiful, I am amazing and it's time for me to start believing it no longer do I want to stay in the same routine, stay in the same mindset, the same condition, mind,  I want to unleash the power of my mind I want to dive deep into the depths of the light, into the depths of inner peace, into the depths of joy and happiness, in the state of being. 

Not into the depths of worry and stress and depression and anxiety and shame and guilt but stay away not because I'm scared of it but because i'm free from it. Because i no longer need it. Because i have one life and I'm going to live it to my fullest ability. I just knew in my heart to just go, go all into this endeavor and so I went no questions asked and it wasn't a picnic the rise up is tough but its who you become in the process when you're chasing this unknown when you eliminate fears and so my offering is to really analyze what you love to do and to go chase it because making money should not be your focus to do something that you don't really love to make money what is that? Thats, all that is, is a transference of stress you are taking on stress at this job that you don't like, this is stressful for you so that you have less stress when it comes to finances so is that eliminating the stress? No, you're transferring it from finances to eat at a little better place to live in a little better apartment to then develop more stress while you're at work. Does that make sense? The money will come when you're really good at something I can guarantee it when you really have an effect because that will create a polarizing reaction in people that they will be drawn to you and you cannot be really good at something if you don't love what you're doing. That's the bottom line. Chase this uncertainty where your heart is telling you to go because it knows that it will discover itself if you choose to go down this ambiguity if you choose to go unfold this mystery because you will discover what you're really made of if you choose to go down this abyss. See the thing is for many people they've tried the same path you're on and they failed as you walk this journey you're going to see carcasses all over the place of people that didn't quite have it.

 That should inspire you because you got further than that person, and that person but you're not looking to get further than them, you're looking to finish. How do you know you're on the right path? Where do you go to ensure that? Do you talk to your neighbor no you don't talk to him. I'll tell you about the neighbor guys that neighbors going to come in man and if you're a little chubby, a little overweight you'd be like hey man I'm thinking about doing a routine man or getting on a training program where I lose some weight. He's going to encourage you at first yeah you should you should basically insulting your ass and you are fat and you lose some weight. It's never support, it's negative shit oh you should lose some weight. So then you go, you take his advice and you start training, you start doing something, you start to get in shape a little bit maybe at his level then all of a sudden he's going to start asking questions his tones going to shift especially as you're getting in better shape than him. Then he's going to start talking shit because what happens now guys is that your success is like a spotlight shining down on their missed opportunities. Success many will love you for it the majority will hate you because your success makes them feel insufficient in their current endeavor reminds them of where they could have done it but they came up short and how they didn't revisit it where they went out and failed and failure is what stood they never revisited it again. The difference between a winner and a loser the failure is there every single time it's just that the winner gets back up and does it again and does it again until it goes his way so now you're down that path and you're all alone how do you know you on the right path how do you know what you're doing is in the right direction if you're wondering if you're on the right path look at the small things of life. How do you do that when you wash your car and spend an hour washing your car, when you finish washing you put the hoses and everything away and the brushes and you come outside to look at the job you did but you notice some spots missing what do you do? Do you regrab the hoses and pull it all out and finish the job right or do you say you know that's good enough, ya it's good enough.

 See the thing about good enough is we don't know if its enough until the end our final hour and everything is on the line well that's when we find out if it is enough and if we come up short man, doesn't that suck. I promise you guys if today you never say good enough tomorrow you're always have enough. What I'm saying is the character of who you are it's not the title that makes you it's not the success that makes you, the character defines a success, defines the fame and it starts right there. Championships aren't won in the theatre or the arena they're won in the thousands of hours in the training room, and the labs, and the 5 a.m. runs and the training when everyone else is sleeping that's when it's won. The Harvard champion is a light switch that's always on. It doesn't go on and off when someone's watching. It's constant. It's how you look at something if your name's attached to it and you do it right the best of your ability every single time. 

NEVER BACK DOWN #2

It said I've got a dream I want to achieve I want my children to have a choice of the kind of education they want that said I am the captain of my ship that said I'm going to control my destiny and whatever it takes I'm willing to do the work. There is something in you that said I've got to make this happen there's something in you that said there's a bigger life waiting for me calling my name. There's something in you that says i'm on my way to a greater life. I want you to remember three things number one I want you to never be afraid to make a decision. Be decisive. Don't be afraid to fail. Be fearless. Number two I want you to remember the power of you.

You gotta feel that power you got to believe in that power you have that power. Trust me. Last but not least number three can't stop, won't stop. The most important element for you to be able to do this, to be able, to establish the most important one, where you really are in your life today. Where are you and where do you really want to go? What's going to create this extraordinary life and to look at it brand new because some of you right now, if you continue the direction you're going are going to be successful and unfulfilled, unhappy and stressed. If I can change and you can change, everybody can change. There are two reasons of why people are not successful. There are two reasons of why people do not go after their dreams. There are two deadly killers of what causes people to give up. There are two deadly killers of dreams, there are two deadly killers of goals. There are two deadly killers of focus and purpose and those one one of those things is procrastination. To continue to put stuff off, to continue to put stuff on the back burner, to continue to say oh I'll get to that later, why do we do that we do that? We do that because we're afraid of something. What are we afraid of? Are we afraid of failing? A lot of us are not really afraid of failing but we're afraid of the unknown we're afraid of that success. We're afraid of the thing that is going to possibly come to pass we all say we want the big things but we're not afraid of how it might change us so what I want to tell you today is in the midst of being afraid of being successful you cannot be afraid of successful. Successful, success will only make you better. Success will only make you a better who you are. A better version of you. Yeh it's going to change your life thats exactly what its supposed to do. 

Yes its gonna change your mind that's exactly what it's supposed to do but that is what we call success you cannot be afraid. There's two elements of fear fear one is you can forget everything and run,  you can forget everything and leave all your dreams behind, you can forget everything, you leave your family behind, you can forget everything you can leave your goals behind, you can forget everything and leave your purpose behind or you can face everything and rise. If you face everything and rise, you're gonna face those insecurities, you're going to face those self-doubts, you're gonna face the, the scrutiny of others, you're going to face the, the lies that people speak you gonna face everything and you're going to rise above that. Why? Because you're now focusing your purpose, you're now focused on your goals, you're now focus on who you are and you're now focused on where you want to be. The other thing that is a deadly killer of dreams is giving up. You cannot give up on yourself you cannot ever give up on yourself. Why? Because when you give up on yourself you give up on your family, you give up on your goals, you give up on your purpose, you give up on your future, you give up on your all your future success and you just live a basic life. 

You live a basic life of doing nothing. You live a basic life of just saying, oh okay this is just what i'm supposed to do. You know you have something deeper inside of you. You know you have greater inside of you you know theres purpose down inside of you and you have to give up, you have to give up on giving up. You have to let go of giving up and you have to fight sometimes it's hard but you still have to fight. The hardest fight is the fight within it's not really so much the money issue, it's not so much really the, the naysayers. It's not so much of what people are going to say but it's the who, how you perceive yourself it's the fight of what you think about yourself so now start thinking positive about who you are. God has made you better than who you are God has made you stronger than who you are. You can never give up on God, never give up on yourself and never give up on your dreams. So you begin to look at this decade and affirming that this is your decade as you set goals that will make you stretch that will bring out the best in you as you begin to remove the negative toxic people from your life as you decide to take some chances in life and that's one of the things that's very important this starts it if you're not willing to risk you cannot grow and if you cannot grow you cannot become your best and if you cannot become your best you cannot be happy and if you can't be happy then what else is there? Every single thing you said you wanted you wanted to accomplish, you wanted to do, guess what we still got time baby it is not lost. You still have time, that's right. You still got time baby. Who are you right now and who must you become in order to create what you want? What has to change about you? What is it that you're doing right now that would be a liability for you? As you begin to look towards the future and take inventory of yourself what is it about you right now that you've got to leave this behind because this no longer fits.

 Looking at where you want to go and the kind of person that you must become, the kind of standards that you have for you what is it that you must do differently? The one commodity that is most valuable on this earth is time. Time to love, time to live from the moment the human body is born it begins dying. I don't think you quite caught that, let me say it again. From the moment the human body is born it begins dying. Some happen faster, some happen slower, some of us help them happen faster, and some of them prevent it from happening sooner than later. How many seconds how many minutes do we waste every day doing things that are nowhere near the goals and aspirations and passions that we have inside? How many times are you going through the course of a day and realize did I do anything I set out to do today? Write down those goals each and every day no matter if there's two goals a day if you can accomplish those then you're doing more than just making it through the day. You are living and achieving your dreams. Find time to better yourself, read explore, research, live life do things you've never thought of doing before that's what it's all about when you're born that's that date that they put on the left side of the tombstone when you die they put another date on the right side of the tombstone but that - in the middle is the most important thing on that tombstone that is a line that throughout that entire time frame you were able to impact and touch others lives you were able to leave your mark on this earth you were able to build a legacy that nobody could change you were able to have it to where people remember who you are no matter what when you're living for that - in the middle you're going to remember your why your why, why are you here not, not the why, why did you do something your why your, your reason for getting up in the morning, your reason for pushing yourself past the brink of exertion and giving up your reason for moving on and getting things done in life that - in the middle that's the thing that pushes you. How do you rate yourself on a scale of one to ten in terms of your physical appearance, in terms of your health, do you take care of yourself? Are you allowing yourself to get overweight and out of shape?

 Are you conscious of your health, are you watching the food that you take into your body? Do you make a deliberate effort to exercise, you know it was George Burns who said we cannot help getting older but we don't have to get old and many of us get old before our time because we don't take time to take care of ourselves. Your environment is a very good indicator on a scale of one to ten is it what you want it to be do you find it desirable are you satisfied, the job or career that you are involved in someone said that 85% of the American public are unhappy with their jobs are you spending eight hours a day just doing time? Doing something that you don't find challenging, that does not make you stretch mentally that does not stimulate you, that does not inspire you something that you don't find a sense of fulfillment in it. 

NEVER BACK DOWN #1

 I'm fragile. I feel pain. I hurt. I open my eyes. I crave victory. I do not give up. I feel no fear. I fear no man. I create. I conqueror. I hold the power. Make a choice just decide what it's going to be, who you're going to be, how you're going to do it. Just decide and then from that point the universe is going to get out your way. We can't have another bad year. You've got to get to the point where enough is enough. It's much easier to come up with excuses of why you can't do it. If you do what is easy your life will be hard. If you do what is easy, complain about your situation, your circumstances, surrender, and give up on your dreams, become depressed and bitter and angry, anybody can do that.

 If you do what it's easy your life will be hard but if you do what is hard, keep coming back again and again, get up, get dressed everyday, take life on, taking life by the collar, you say yeah I will do it! I can do this and you said to yourself I'm willing to face you know I'm willing for people to laugh at me, I'm willing to gut this out, I'm willing to make this happen, it's my time. It's possible, it's necessary, it's hard, it's worth it. I'm going to do whatever it takes, I can do it if anybody's ever done, if anybody has ever done it at any point in time in history, then whats possible for one, is possible for me and I'm going to do it and if you do that over and over and over again your life will be easy. This is kind of hard to understand but sometimes you can try so hard or something, sometimes you can be so... so prepared and still fail and when every time you fail it's painful and causes sadness. And especially as I saw last night it causes disappointment. I've often said a man's character is not judged after he celebrates a victory but by what he does when his back is against the wall. So no matter how great the setback, how severe the failure, you never give up. You never give up. You pick yourself up, you brush yourself off, you push forward, you move on. Everybody here, everybody that's watching, I won't be stopped! I can't be stopped! You're either committed or you aren't you're either willing to do everything it takes whatever that might be or you aren't. You either are willing to go through hell and high water and fire and fucking brimstone to get to your goals or you aren't.

 And that's why you'll never be what you want to be. That's why you'll never have what you want to have. That's why you will never accomplish it, well, you are all over the place. Success guys is a very very lonely road, man.  Along that road you're not going to see too many friends. You're going to see your shadow most often. You gotta trust in the heart of hearts. Decide what you're doing, what you believe in, is it a worthy cause and win every fight. I wish I could tell you you're tired go take a break. I wish I could tell you you're tired, rest for a year. I wish I could tell you that that it's going to get easier. I wish I could tell you it's going to get easier. I wish I could tell you that if you just keep going it's going to get lighter but the wait, the wait is gonna get lighter. I wish I could tell you, you get to the point where enough is enough you get to the point where it hurts real bad, you get to the point when it's over, when they're tired, when they're frustrated, when they're ready to give up, when they spent their last dime that's when they get started but what you cannot do is you cannot quit doing the process you cannot give up because it ain't what you see you cannot give up. Work on yourself, work on your focus, you cannot stop you got to work. The problem with you is you see difficult as something negative I want you to see difficult differently. Are you hearing me? I need you to push through that stuff. Push through it. You can get through it. 

The more you go through the more difficult it is, the more challenging it is, listen to me, the harder it is. Are you hearing me? The more challenging it is all you doing baby is building muscles. In life you're either going to a store, in a store, or you coming out. It's a part of life there's no way around it so just be careful not to allow the trials and the tribulations to consume you. I don't care if you're a billionaire, I don't care if you a CEO or the most important companies I don't care if you an entertainer, like I don't care who you are. You will go to the moon we all have problems what I'm trying to tell you is this though problems are a part of life but guess what they're not like it's not going to be easy. There are moments when you're going to doubt yourself. The rough times are gonna come but they have not come to stay no matter how bad it is or how bad it gets you've got to make it your personal business to make it happen. Ladies and gentlemen, if you want to make it in life you got to make no your vitamin. You've got to know every no brings you a step closer to a yes. Anybody can stop because someone said no but there's something in you, in your heart of hearts thats saying i'm not a quitter. There's something in you that says I've got the will to do it there's something in you that says I'm going to find a way. People can help you out and won't help you out because they know too much about you and they don't believe, they can't see this new you.

 Don't allow those negative naysayers, the people suffering from possibility blindness to stop you. Detoxify your life let all the negative people in your life go, can I change them no. It's a full-time job changing yourself. You are not like everybody else you can walk outside and find pigeons but if you're looking for eagles it's going to take you a minute. You are different and as you think about your goals and dreams, your personal goals your financial goals, whatever that number is I want you to multiply it a hundred times and I want to warn you don't ask yourself how you're going to do it. How, is none of your business I just want you to listen to me, you have something special. You have greatness within you, you have the ability to do more than anything you can ever begin to imagine. You have million-dollar ideas billion-dollar ideas, in you. There are people waiting to hear your voice. You have a vision of yourself doing more achieving more, taking care of your family, making your mark, leaving a legacy.

 You were born to be successful. Is it easy? Of course it's not easy. It's challenging. It requires patience, it requires persistence, it requires a willingness to do whatever is required to create a new life for yourself. Don't be afraid to close your eyes and dream but then open your eyes and see. For a lot of people the distance between their dreams and the reality is intimidating and they get stuck. They get paralyzed just like I was in that marathon and the only way forward is to be real about what it's going to take for you to achieve those dreams. You have to be honest with yourself. You have to tell yourself the truth. You have to tell yourself the truth of what its going to take for you to be successful. You cannot achieve success without failure. That's why you're here. Theres a voice in you that said I can do this. There's something in you, in your heart of hearts that said I'm not going to let anybody pull my strings. It said i'm going to control my own personal economy.